ENGAGED?!

Oh how the Lord has a way of completely changing our lives in such a short period of time. I love life! Especially life with Jesus. I am not a person that likes change and is not one to be classified as being spontaneous or impulsive, but I've been learning through this season of life that I have dived into that sometimes it's okay to just let go and let the Lord take the wheel, imagine that, uh I was just reminded of that awful over played song by Carrie Underwood. Anyways, within a week, my life has quickly been thrown into a faster pace, a pace that I was quick to assume I couldn't handle. I'M ENGAGED! My sweet boyfriend, now fiance, proposed to me on Feb. 1st. We had talked about it but I did not expect the proposal to come some quickly. The little sneak led me to believe that he had months of saving up to do. I got home from my overnight shift at the women's shelter that I work at here in town and stepped out of my truck to long stem roses which lead the way to the door of my house. I stepped into the house and to my shock and a hint of confusion, there were little tea lights and flower petals all over the floor. In my head I was screaming ,"oh my gosh, he's going to propose!" But before I walked into my room, there was a letter on the floor that read something like, I am sorry for being a jerk this past week etc. etc. this is my apology(we had been in a huge argument a few days before, which stemmed mostly from my fears of our future and we both handled it poorly by just being caddy towards each other for the rest of the week, haha lame I know). I opened the door and there were christmas lights strung up in every corner of my room, more tea lights and more flowers and of course my precious Alex, who was playing a sweet song on his guitar. At that moment, I was still lead by the thoughts that this was just his way of apologizing and that was it. I dropped my keys on the floor and kicked off my shoes and listened to him. He spoke a few words (probably more than a few, I was so exhausted that I could not catch all of it), pulled out the ring from his pocket and got on his knee and asked me to be his wife. WOW, at that moment in my head, I asked the Lord to please help me remember all that was happening. From that moment, learning to be fashioned into a wife was now on the agenda. In the next five months, I will finish up student teaching and graduate, plan a wedding, turn 24 years old, say goodbye to the sweetest season of my life as being a student of Chi Alpha, get married..all while raising funds to spend my first year of marriage overseas in Central Asia. God is good and faithful. Praying for peace as reached a whole new level. Now, as mentioned above, I am not a women of change. I HATE CHANGE! I've had the same pair of sneakers for 4 years, I just recently got "grown up" clothes and have put the basketball shorts and t-shirts away..kinda, I've lived in the same crappy, rat/roach/flea infested, falling apart, shack for 5 years, etc, the list could go on...I think it's humorus that the Lord knew that I don't like change so He is making it all happen at once so I don't have to endure the process through a long period of time. Quick but difficult is better than a long drawn out process that has the potential of being tortuous.
All that to say is that Jesus really is the Prince of Peace and no matter how fast pace life can get on us, we can trust that the Lord is constant and never changes, praise the Lord! And now let the games begins....

Central Asia

I am testifying to the fact that life with the Lord is an absolute adventure and will never make sense to those who don't know Him. As a kid I loved and thrived on adventured. Secretly, I long to live my life in a fairy-tale full of flying and fighting pirates and sleeping in a lagoon full of mermaids with no electricity, just lanterns. I love the romantic thoughts of adventure like that. But as much as I know that most of those thoughts are completely unlikely, that doesn't mean that my life can not and will not be an adventure. God himself is supernatural and the ways He works is not normal. If we walk with the Lord, these whimsical adventures don't have to be so far out of reach. All that to say is that being a Christian is not boring. Life with the Lord of the universe is an absolute party! A missionary from England came and spoke to us at one of our XA meetings and he said one of the most profound and yet simple things that I have ever heard he said, "being a Christian is not boring, if it is, then you're not doing right." It's so true! I can't imagine my life any different. What a life the Lord has given me. Recently, I have been given the opportunity to spend a year in Central Asia! Although terrified of the unknown, I am ready to let go and follow Jesus as He leads me in yet another chapter of this crazy life. And I found out that there's no sense in trying to figure out the plan because it only gets you deeper and deeper into this abyss of nonsense, because the Lord doesn't want to spoil the joy of a surprise. It's like opening all your gifts before Christmas.
So friends, I am finishing out my last semester of my college career and will then embark upon one of the numerous adventures I get to have with my savior. Life for me for at least the next 7 months will consist of sharing my vision with willing supporters, praying my face off, and probably lots of crying and brokenness.....sweet. I hope to update this blog more often as if may prove to be a good source of communication in my support raising process. For those 2 people that may happen to stumble upon this page, please pray with me. More to come...hopefully.

I'm Back..

Wow, I really need to catch up on this thing. Boy, has the Lord been doing some crazy, cool stuff in my life lately. Every day is an adventure, life with Jesus is anything but boring!  I came back from an amazing amazing summer in Central Asia, where the Lord blew me away. When I have more time I will post some sweet stories and some pictures. Right now we, Chi Alpha, are in the middle of our most busiest time of the year and that is the craziness we call Welcome Week! Its basically pure madness, no sleep, lots of coffee, and hanging out with precious, lost freshman. I LOVE IT! There is nothing like sitting and talking with sweet girls, who just have no idea what the Lord has in store for their lives. I am very excited about where the Lord is taking us this year. The harvest is plentiful!  I have no other way of explaining it other than an intense anticipation with a few butterflies of what it feels like walking around our campus right now.  The Lord is going to do something HUGE! 

JOY

Brace yourself friends, this stuff is rich, please read it all, its worth it! I was reading in Christ of Every Road by E. Stanley Jones (highly recommend anything this man writes) a couple of days ago and these paragraphs have stuck with me, so I wanted to share them. Ok here we go...

"Joy of the Spirit is no cheap joy. It has scars on it -- radiant scars! It is joy won out of the heart of pain. Those who know it have found one of life's deepest and most transforming secrets: the transmuting (transform) of pain into a paean (any song of praise, joy or triumph). Sorrow becomes not something to escape; WE CAN MAKE IT SING! We can set our tears to music, and no music is so exquisite, so completing. The early Christian learned immediately and at once the truth which the philosopher Royce puts in these words: 'Such ills we remove only as we assimilate them, idealize them, take them up into the plan of our lives, give them meaning, set them in their place in the whole.' When their heartstrings were stretched upon some cross of pain and the winds of persecution blew through them, then from this human Aeolian harp men heard the very music of God. THEY DID NOT BEAR PAIN, THEY USED IT!"

Good huh? One more!

"In a Friends' meeting in Vienna I found myself rising and saying: 'For many years I have worn a cross upon my heart, and this cross has made me. But recently it has been lifted and I miss it and I find myself asking for another cross.' 'What a terrible prayer to pray!' said a friend walking out of the meeting. Yes, it was, but it would have been more terrible not to pray it, this, if we want to know the fourth dimension of life (which is pain, he talked about it earlier in the chapter). I found myself praying recently, "If wounds must come, I have only one request to make about them--let them be clean wounds." If we can keep away from our wounds the infection of complaint and sourness of spirit, they will heal quickly and leave glorious scars!"

AAAAAAH, that stuff is soo good. Turning pain into a joyous song, who would have thought?

New Year, New Beginnings

It's been a while. I need to hop back on this thing. Well, the title says it all. It's a new year and with a new year comes new beginnings. The Lord has really pressed home with me the fact that, although last year was not bad by any means, I really do need a fresh start. A fresh start with a lot of things in my life: my house, my small group, my job, my school work, lacrosse, my relationship with Him, EVERYTHING! Oh and how the Lord has been good to me. This new semester has started off with quite a bang. I was blessed with a new job, that I am loving and being stretched at all at the same time, if you can imagine. I am loving my small group more and more each day, although I'd like to see them more than I do, the time I do get to have with them is amazing. We are learning so much together, thank you Jesus. School on the other hand is kicking me! My education classes are very difficult, but something that I have to constantly remind myself is that without these classes I can not do what the Lord has in store for my future.

Lately the Lord has been revealing to me that I must have a refreshing of His Holy Spirit. I need to experience the Pentecost. I've been reading through the book of Acts and just recently finished it. I love how the disciples have just seemed to go nuts for the Lord. I picture in my head them just running in all different directions to all different nations and cities filled with the joy that only the Holy Spirit can give. They forgot their fears and just simply shared what Jesus has done in their lives and what He did for them on Calvary. As I read, I felt their urgency. To them sharing this love was not a compromise. I always knew that Paul was an amazing man but actually reading it for myself was mind-blowing. He showed me that their truly is power in our testimony. He wasn't being rebellious, he simply had a passion for people to also be able to experience the Lord as he did on the road to Damascus. And he was not afraid. At one point the other disciples were telling him not to go to Jerusalem because they knew his fate, this is what he said in response to them, "What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of Jesus Christ." BAM!

What am I willing to do? What am I willing to give up? What am I waiting for?

Worship

My heart is so stirred. Chi Alpha tonight was incredible. I love our family. We have something here that I hope everyone gets to experience, it's a must, it's how it should be. Tonight we heard from one of us students, his name is Sam. This guy is beautiful, he's just one of many in our group. Tonight he was asked to share with us his thoughts on worship. It was so stirring. He discussed what he felt worship was and he also described attributes of a true worshipper. Here's a recap, be blessed...

Attributes of Worship

Personal
It is you loving your Lord who you have an intimate relationship with.
Natural
It flows from your being. If we love God, everything we do will be worship
Extravagant
We discussed, the woman who poured the very expensive perfume on Jesus' head. This is
powerful because it was everything she had. The perfume was said to have such an incredible
scent that her worship to Jesus probably lasted till the day of his death on the cross. Her love
for Jesus was big.
Realistic
Worship God for who is He is in YOUR life. Remember, you have a personal relationship with
Jesus, a relationship that is none like any other.
Choice
Love is a choice, its not a have to. Worship is a choice, not a have to.
Creative
Expression
"Joy is not complete until it is expressed." -C.S. Lewis
The right order of the Universe
We were made to worship.

Attributes of a True Worshipper
Unquenchable
Always hungry for more
Undone
Undignified
Worship as if no one is watching
Unveiled
Show the glory, see Him for who He is.
Unstoppable
Use every opportunity to worship the Lord
Unnoticed
Worship with the same heart everywhere
Undivided
Focus on your creature with undivided attention and with an undivided heart
Unsatisfied
Unending!
Eternity

My Kids!

I love these girls with everything in me. This is my small group. Small I know, but very big in heart. These ladies love the Lord and are fighting to know Him more. It's so beautiful. Patty, the girl right above me, is one of the sweetest girls I know. She is a baby but really fights to know who Jesus is and what His plan is for her life. Of all the things this girl has been through, she still clings to the cross more than I think I ever could. Mandy, the beautiful red head, is so pure. She is my freshman, but if you didn't know her you wouldn't be able to tell. She is wise beyond her years and really keeps me on my toes. Mandy and I can and do spend hours upon hours sitting in Starbucks talking about the Lord. I love it! Lindsay, directly below Mandy, has the sweetest smile you have ever seen and has a heart to match. This girl is in love with Jesus. She has a desire to know the plan the Lord has for her so deeply. She motivates me by the excitement that she daily has for the Lord AND on top of that she has a beautiful singing voice..

This is my small group and I love them very very much. The Lord reminds me daily that I need these girls just as much as they need me. I ask the Lord at the beginning of the semester to give me girls that I could truly love and grow with and my prayers were answered. I am spoiled by these girls. Thank you Jesus.